I posted a shameless request for someone to donate a scooter for me last year. Through the generosity of a former parishioner I received one. Unfortunately it died on me and now have been told it is not repairable. So I reposted another request. To purchase a new one will cost me $2000.00 or a little less. I suppose I could purchase one with the help of my foot doctor and my insurance but I only asked the public because sometimes people have these items and are looking for a home to someone who might need one. Like me.
Although I don’t dwell on it, the fact that I have “charcot foot” is serious. I tire very easy because I am constantly focused on not falling down. I don’t think people know how often I fall. Last week I fell in the school and my head almost went through a plate glass window. I came out with a deep cut on my knee. It’s pretty deep and it really hurt! Ouch! It was advised to me over a year ago to use a cane when I walk and I had no problem developing a cane aversion. But even with a cane I loose my balance. It’s a strange feeling living with this disability. It’s even stranger to say that I have one. Sure, I enjoy the perk of having the special car sticker and I have even had people open doors for me and just last week someone gave me a seat on the “L” in Chicago. But I mourn the loss of not moving around as quickly as I would like. I am beginning to see the road ahead of me. What I mean by that is that I am not getting any younger and my foot will not get better. If I break it I run the risk of amputation in the future.
The whole thing about getting older is kind of creepy for me although in just 15 years I can retire. I just hope that I don’t completely fall apart before that. I would really like to travel. A few nights ago I dreamt that I was walking along and my foot was dragging. It was a disturbing dream and yet it almost felt like a foreshadowing of things to come. I guess this is why I want to get a new scooter. I want to be able to preserve what I have and just be smart about it.
I suppose that I should talk to God about this whole thing. Whatever is thrown in my path I know I will survive. I will not give up. God will not disappoint me either. He’s the best boss I’ll ever have!