It seems that right before I leave for vacation something big always falls in my lap. There are several things going on that I really don’t have the answer to and it’s very frustrating to know that lives are depending on me. I can only do so much but I will do what I can and that is the best way I can put it.
This morning I called two very old friends of mine from childhood. They lost their brother last night to cancer. Cancer sucks! They had hoped to see their brother at the end of the month but God had other plans. I know the feeling of not being able to say “goodbye” to a loved one. When my sister and brother died, there were no goodbye’s….they were just gone. Tony’s death was especially difficult because we were never allowed to see him because he was not viewable. This hurt us so very deeply. So, having walked that walk I called the two sisters to convey my heartfelt sympathies. And it was, indeed, heartfelt!
One of the things i had to do was call my sister, Susan, just to hear her voice. I, for selfish reasons, want her to move back to this area because I miss her so much. I have a special bond with her and I feel like the world is slipping away from me by not having my niece and nephew around to give them a sense of identity. I think her husband has the same feeling. He suffered the loss of both of his parents within a one year span and I have not been there for him physically to give him the support he needs.
I am also very mindful of my parents whom I am so lucky to still have but even with them being here, I see them slipping away. Mom is getting thinner and looking her age. My dad who is in a nursing home actually looks better than her. I shared a story with my sister about how I bought my mom a new phone and how she doesn’t know how to use it. Trying to explain the technical aspects of what a phone can do is exhausting BUT funny too. She doesn’t get it and thats okay!
In the meantime, i need to get through this next day and a half so I can enjoy my