Don’t worry! Be Happy!

I am a worrier! I worry about everything. So much so, that I make myself sick to my stomach. Two days ago I was feeling like an abandoned child. In fact, I clearly recall as a little boy I had this recurring dream that my parents moved and left me behind. Those dreams were so vivid that I still remember them and how they made me feel. Funny how nightmares like this can carry on into your adult life. The night of my last blog I went to visit my mother, Rosie. Initially I prepared myself that she would be in somewhat of a downcast move, maybe pretending that this move would not be a great thing and regretting this new move. Boy was I wrong! I haven’t seen her this motivated and happy in a long time! It seems she now sees the benefits of living in a place where she will not be alone. She won’t have to cook which is something she does not enjoy anymore. I clearly recall there was a time when mom always had something to eat in our fridge. Either that,or, she was cooking. When friends came to the house she often she would ask them if they were hungry. My friends caught onto this and I now know that when they would come to our house they knew Rosie would be a generous host and Ma was always ready to whip something together or warm up a plate in the microwave. Her homemade pie crust was a killer. It’s a recipe that I still use today. But now, after cooking for so many years she no longer has the zeal. Currently she weighs only 100 pounds. I’m hoping that her time at Rittenhouse in Portage will put a few pounds on her. (She’s happy that the dining room is right around the corner of her apartment).

She expressed to me that she will have new friends, go on trips, socialize and participate with many of the activities they have to offer AND, she can take her cats, Daisy and Buddy! Of course, she will have to sacrifice a lot when it comes of disposing her personal belongings with this move. The jury is still out if we will allow her to take her car. Even though we took away her car keys she told me with an elfish grin that she has another set. But she is being obedient to my brother Dan who is the one motivating force behind this very necessary move. I can’t lie. It hurts to see the changes I am witnessing and the possible last years of life approaching for mom. I wonder how many good years we will have left with her. All of this I worried about and all for my own silliness. At this time we are going to rent out her condo so that we can attempt to hold onto it for now. But if we have to make a different decision then we may take another direction. But for now I feel relief.

The bottom line for today is that I feel pretty good. I know mom will be safe and secure. My next big worry would have been when Dan, Diane and I go to Greece in October and that mom would be on her own for those 11 days. (Dan and Diane live two doors down from her and have been looking out for her)! Now we can be assured that she will be good. Change is often very difficult. How many times have I been with people who were forced to make a change and they struggled with big decisions? How many times have I had to help others lay out their objectives for those going through difficult decisions too? Probably many in my 25 years as a priest. So, now its our turn to make a tough decision for our beloved mother. The one who bore us. Nursed us. Fed us. Taught us our first social skills. How to cook! (Tamales at Christmas, and oh,…her famous taco meat recipe). The list is much longer! For now, all we can just do is to love her to the end.


FYI: If you want to make a comment there should now be a place to do so at the end of this blog but there is not. Instead I would ask you send me an email at: I am having problems with this feature. My dear friend, Fr. Mike, is working on it!  Also I wanted to clarify that even though my debt is totally out of control, I do not have creditors knocking at my door nor am I receiving harassing phone calls. My debt is manageable on a monthly basis meaning my bills are getting paid but my problem is that I have very little for my own temporal needs or to put in savings. Let’s be clear about one thing: I am not asking for pity or money!  Many of you have expressed that they have been in the same financial position. So you know! Maybe those who read this will also know that there is hope and there is help. I can fix this as long as I stay focused on my future and go to my Debtors Anonymous group every week. I always leave there with a sense of hope. I invite you to continue to follow my blog. Making new entries has already relieved much stress. Soon I will be writing about my diagnosis when I was at St. Luke Institute for Clergy and Religious. Google it!

4 Responses

  1. Nancy Collins says:

    You are so lucky that your Mom has taken to the idea of moving so well. My Mom is 92 and lives by herself in Michigan City. She doesn’t see any problem with it no matter how many ways we tell her it worries and scares us.

  2. Jack Larner says:

    We put Marci’s mom’s property in a trust so she wouldn’t lose everything to illness. The difficult part was the trust had to exist for 5 years before it was valid. Might be different there but worth looking into.

  3. Laura Benson says:

    Father, we’ve been struggling with same situation regarding Mom. Praying for God to intercede on this. Want you to know that you were God’s instrument in lighting a fire back in my heart when you came to Nativity. I shall keep you in my prayers that His guidance will direct your choices and decisions. We cannot fathom the greatness of His love.

  4. Joe Razumich says:

    Please remember that Mary Hileman and Jos Razumich are only a phone call or text away and willing to chat or just listen … as you or anyone of your friends here go through this chapter with your mom and loved ones … There is no easy soft way to navigate the final voyage, but the best way is for the family – and extended family – to work together as a team. And, remember who the Captain is!